How far can my stupidity goes?

My friend asked me this before, if having a friend that can clique with you and having a lot of friends, which one will I choose. Eh, the question itself is kinda weird, but I guess what she meant was that between having a true friend and having a lot of friends but not one that is close to me, which one will I choose.

Hm, if it’s the me from 2 years ago, I think I will choose the 1 true friend. But for me now, seems like I will choose the second one.

It’s like I have always placed high expectations of friends around me, only to find that in the end it’s all a joke. I’m not blaming anyone here now, because who knows I’ve been an asshole to someone before and not knowing anything about it. I just felt like writing this because it’s like I have so much things in my brain I think I just cannot stop myself from thinking about it. Pouring out to people also doesn’t help, maybe just writing something somewhere will let me breathe easier.

The me from primary school was just a weird kid, I don’t mix around with people. Go around the school by myself, and strangely I actually found more joy in it. Maybe I was too young then, and then slowly slowly I learned to mixed around with people.

The me from secondary school was a retard, because at that time I treat friendship more important than anything else, thought I knew everything only to find that I was an idiot. Made a mess for don’t know what weird reasons I was thinking then.

The me from Poly, thought I have already knew better in year 1, only to find that everything I thought of was wrong, got disappointed, picked up my hope, and then crushed again. I suppose this should be the time I should have learnt something. Well, I did change my priorities now. And have thought that perhaps I also don’t treat everything seriously, slowly my expectations was raised again and then again to find everything a joke.

Ayz, what the hell. When will I ever learn that I shouldn’t place high expectations on people?

Even if I choose to have one true friend, that person might not be able to just stay loyal to you. It’s not right to ask so much things selfishly of a person, I don’t even know if I could have contributed the same way as what I’ve expected of people.

Which is why, I think I shouldn’t make expectations too much anymore.

How to Survive in a Random IAP

Some of you know this, and some of you don’t, and I have repeated this for a long time, so I’m also kinda lazy to keep saying the same thing over and over again, because every time I said it, it’ll make me pity myself more, and I have already got past that stage.

I’m currently being posted to Singapore Technologies, which is just behind Nanyang Polytechnic, seems kinda near but it’s still quite a distance. Based on the ratio of of my body length to my leg length, which is 5:5, I would need perhaps 1 hour to walk back to school by foot. Okay, maybe 30 minutes.

Singapore Technologies is okay, it’s giving me a feel of how it’s like to go into a girl’s home, or the feeling of being a prisoner (somehow). No camera phones are allowed, which is why I’m using this random Sony Ericsson phone which belonged to my mum, I always thought my current phone is damn laggy, the typing speed is slow, as in the sense I typed finish a word and I need like 1 year for the word to appear. Sorry, G700, I didn’t treasure you enough. Sobs. The current phone I’m using now has an amazing typing speed, as compared to my current one, this phone needs to take a 100 years for the words to appear. Gosh. Okay, nvm. Non camera phones allowed, and so I have to use this lousy phone.

Then, no thumbdrives allowed. Okay, reasonable, since they have really confidential information in this place, but the lame thing is that in the first place, they say they won’t give me any confidential information at all, because I’m a student or something they said and I don’t bother remembering. Nvm, maybe they thought I’m being sent by Osama to spy around. Not like I love my thumb drive so much that I have to bring it around with me wherever I go. This is the only one that I can’t tolerate. No MP3 player!!! I cannot do work or slack without music with me! Because they said that mp3 player is a media storage media device, so that’s why cannot bring in.

Now, I’m going to teach you what you have to do if you were posted into some random IAP like I do.

1) If you got posted into the wrong department.
Don’t panic like I did, just relax, lie back on the comfortable chair they gave you, cross your legs and wait for them to settle the problem for you while you while away your time slacking.
Oh, bring along a notebook, or storybook with you on your first day, because if this kind of thing occurred, you will have nothing to do for a very long time, so might as well read a book or write some lame stuffs into your notebook.
Ah, you might not know you get posted into the wrong department, so listen to what they tell you to do, if it’s really something you don’t know, just don’t agree to settling down in the company. Working adults are really good in talking, they might talk you into agreeing to learn this thing they are telling you to do, but if you know this thing doesn’t aid you in whatever ways for future establishment, just stand firm in your stand.

2) If you are alone in this IAP company.
See whether they are people who are also only on their own, if he/she looks normal, doesn’t give you a arrogant stuck up face, consider socializing with them. But normally this kind of situation don’ really occur, because most of them are from their own course and will stick together, only unlucky people like me in this random course got posted to this company on my own.
But it’s okay, because as time goes, you will realise that being alone is kinda good too.

3) Then what about lunch?
Ah, that’s the only problem actually. In fact, some of you guys don’t really mind being alone, but what about lunch? Like me, I worry about how I go to lunch. Because I rather don’t have my lunch then go to lunching alone. That’s when the pantry comes into use. Take a look inside, normally they will have a lot of drinks, milo can gives energy also, so consider drinking that. If you are lucky enough, maybe they provide biscuits, which mine does, then just survive on that.
I did go lunch with some other IA students, but they wasn’t here the whole week last week, so I managed to think of this way and now I dread going lunch with them. So for the whole of lunch time, biscuits and online novels for reading.

4) Supervisor?
Yeah, since you are new to this company, of course you will have your supervisor to look after you, take you around, talk to people, do a bit of socializing. But due to the fact that perhaps on the first day you already got posted to the wrong department, and now they post you to another department, so of course your supervisor changed too.
What happens if this supervisor is kinda new to IA students and on the 2nd day of your attachment flies away to another country? Then you just have to ask him what you have to do for the whole of IAP and when he/she will come back. Then just while away your time while he/she is away.
In between you will see a lot of interns having their supervisors teaching them, but you can just slack away and do your own thing, having your own time target also.

5) Socializing?
Hm, because you don’t have a supervisor to bring you around to socialize to people, and unluckily you got posted into a company whereby the people are not really friendly. Then just forget it. Different companies have different cultures, maybe they are just used to random people coming to the office, like how I feel right now.
I’m surrounded by 3 random people and the most funny thing is we never talked to one another. Ah, you’ll get used to it, no worries.

6) Contacting the “outside world”
Oh yeah, the most important part would be this, being in a company like this, you wouldn’t even know whether outside is showing “2012″ or not, because you’re enclosed in this environment and there isn’t many windows to show the outside world. And due to the fact that you don’t go lunching either so yeah.
And of course, thumb drives is already not allowed. MSN, eBuddy, twitter, facebook all this are not allowed. So how do you contact the outside world? Email. But what if unluckily you’re using mac and only windows can access your email? That’s when you have to think of weird ways to go around this. Unless you yourself program a chat system yourself (which is only possible for the hardcore programmers, they could have just submit that as their IAP assignment =.=), or you have to go about doing in another awkward way.
Forums.
For one thing, they wouldn’t really ban forums, because for programmers, programmers go to forum to post questions and look for answers. So go to google.com and type free forum hosting site and ta dah!! Create your forum and give the link to people you wanna to chat to, and if you’re lucky enough, some of the forum might have chatbox in it, and if you’re lucky enough it might not be blocked.

7) Don’t bother asking for help
First day of IAP, don’t bother asking for help, apparently once the school kicked you out to IAP, they don’t bother about how you fare in there. Most likely if you die inside your IAP company, only until the end of IAP that they will know that you are dead. And your funeral have long ended.

End of FYP

Phew, finally it’s the last day of my Final Year Project, while I sit infront of my computer and typing away, all the rest of the people in the lab is all standing up, I wonder why, but oh wells, it doesn’t bother me. Because? IT’S THE LAST DAY WOO HOO! And I’ve finished up my things already haaha. Ayz, if I knew that I had time to slack and blog today in the lab, I wouldn’t have stayed up late to do stuffs. I slept at like 4 30am yesterday night, and woke up at 8 30am, I don’t even dare to look myself in the mirror without my spectacles on now, I think my dark circles will look scary.

Anyways, I don’t really know what I am doing for the past 12 weeks of this FYP, I only know that I spent a lot of time slacking, going toilets, eating, drinking and refilling water. Oh yeah, and I realised how easy it was for doing Adobe Flash game, I’m not exactly saying that making an entirely new game on Adobe Flash is easy, it’s more like it’s easier to find tutorials on the internet, and most of it is downloadable. Meaning that you could have just downloaded the stuffs online and just say it’s yours. I’m not saying I did that though, I’m not such an ass. But it’s easy to do in the sense that the tutorials will teach you all the steps you need to take to do out the thing. Well, in some aspects, some of the programming wasn’t that hard either. But then again, maybe it’s because it’s 2D? Ayz, whatever.

Happy thing is. MY FYP IS OVER!! Hehe, second or third time that I am saying this, I’m such an ass. But well, since I’m so happy, I wanna keep repeating and repeating this part. Why? Because the FYP is damn tiring for me, I actually miscalculated the time I need to take to finish up the facebook score. My team mate ported the game to facebook and did the world score already, all I need to do is to create friends’ score,  like how you guys play the game online, so the friends score is just printing out the score of your friends, and if they dun have score, then nothing will come out. Okay, maybe you guys might think that I’m talking crap because it’s so obvious what I am talking about for friends’ score. But the surprising thing is that I told most people about the thing and seems like not many people understand what I’m talking about haha. Yeah, I expected myself to use only 1 week to finish that thing, who knows I actually spent 2 weeks on it, which makes me having only this week to complete my second game. And my final presentation was on Wednesday, I only finished doing the facebook thing on monday morning. Just when I happily thought that I finally had time to do my shit thing, I realised that I have documentation to do, and I need to put the artists’ graphics into the game also. I don’t really understand why I ended up doing so many things at the same time. I think is because I was the one who integrated everything. Haiz.

Hm, so when I finished up everything. Know what? I actually only had tuesday night to finish up my second game. Goodness. Okay, not blaming anyone here. Since I guess it’s because I slacked too much. One thing good about this FYP is that I realised that it’s better to depend on yourself and don’t slack too much, because changing a new group is like having different ways of working. All the people I have worked before are my friends, and I don’t have any problems with them before. We just had to do our parts of the game and then do our own parts of the documentation, in the end just compile the documentation together will do. That’s why I never really thought that documentation was an issue and it finally really did become an issue.

After presenting on Wednesday, and coming to school yesterday to finish up on the my second game, I thought that maybe at night I could have slept earlier. Ayz, and in the end ended up sleeping late again. Zzz. As our games were all integrated into one game, each game makes up a level, so when we presented, we were asked how come we didn’t have our own seperate version. But we were still improving our own game after integration for the mid presentation, who would have like need to update 2 things at the same time. Zzz. But okay, never mind, they do make sense. So in the end I stayed up all night yesterday just to seperate our game levels into 3 different solutions. After finishing that, I looked through the documents. Shocked to see that most of the things inside are not updated. I nearly vomited out blood when I saw that. OMG!!

Ah. Luckily it’s over HAHA!

I’m going off to attachment next week. Singapore Technologies Electronics. Wa, sounds chim right? I thought so too. I went to their website and have a look, I think it’s going to be tough because I don’t understand what’s on their web at all HAHA! Ayz. And I’m alone at the company zz.

Dinnering with LOSErs – 1

Where was the venue?~~ SUKI SUSHI!! Hoho~ I like that place. Maybe it’s because the sushis were cheap, maybe because the chawanmushi there is especially nice. Though Si Hui said chawanmushi taste the same everywhere, I guess it’s true haha. That means I just like chawanmushi then. I’m just very attracted to suki sushi I don’t know why either, maybe I’m just tired of sakae, and besides they don’t have dinner buffet and since I only like ala carte, so it’s better that I go suki, the price is so much more cheaper.

Hm, Lynnette wasn’t able to make it. Sad. Working at her attachment company I guess haha. As usual, Oi Shan was able to make it for every outing HAHA! Okay, being a mean ass over here (but it’s true). Just sitting around, updating on each other’s lives, talking about some lame cold jokes I have read about during my FYP, and telling that how stressed I am that my pimples are coming out (the fact is that because my period is coming haha~). Halfway through, job place called me. Expected, wanted me to go back shop to work tomorrow, but since I had things going on, turned down my colleague, well, if I was really free tomorrow I wouldn’t mind going back, but I’m not free.

Took some lame pictures inside the store too. Using my lousy 3.5 Megapixel handphone. Oh, did I told you guys that a camera that my family bought just a few years back was surprisingly the same Megapixel as my handphone? Surprising. Wait, then again maybe it’s because it’s quite a few years back and I thought that it’s just a mere few years, confused? I am, cuz I don’t know what I’m talking about either. Okay, just trying to say that my camera, being dunno how many times bigger than my phone had the same Megapixel as my pathetic lousy phone. But I guess the quality taken from camera is still different than taking with camera.

This is the first picture I took, apparently Oi Shan keep having different facial expressions when she take photos, and just nice when I pressed the button to snap, her facial expression became the most weirdest thing I’ve ever seen and SNAP! There it is. Can’t help it, it’s really her face that’s too beautiful.

Since the first picture was a total failure, and she herself had the same thoughts as you and I do, so I helped her took the second picture. But what can I say, it’s really her face’s problem, it still turned out… Like this. HAHA!

Oi Shan, I even minimized the picture so that it’ll look better. My artist says that everything looks good when it’s smaller, and I agree with it. But it still came out like this, maybe you can go Korea and so something to your face HAHA! Kidding. I still loves you. <3

And finally, for Oi Shan to take pictures of me and Si Hui!!! See, we are so much more angelic, there’s event this holy light between our heads hehe. Can you see the halo above our heads? WAKAKA~ When we were taking this photo, Si Hui was like “Cheese!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~”. Yeah, very long, because our Miss Wong took a long time to press the button HAHA! So she “cheese!~”-ed for a long time.

Being the kind and nice angel that I am, I figured that I should take a nicer picture of Oi Shan, so that she won’t complain about the previous 2 photos. Going to upload it to facebook and tag her big face on it.

SNAP!

And it still came out like an alien. Haiz, what to do. Oi Shan, it’s okay, I still loves you. Oh, that’s Si Hui’s fingers by the way.

This is the thingy that Si Hui likes, I wanted to take picture of chawanmushi also (though there isn’t any point in doing so. Since it’s not a really rare thingy), but when I finally thought of it, hald the chawanmushi is resting in my stomach already, and taking picture of the other half just doesn’t seems nice.

Still don’t understand why most of my friends like to eat this eh. It felt like it’s killing a lot of lives at the same time haha. Anyways, then I realised that got 3 kinds of this kind of thingy. This one is the smallest one, from what Si Hui said, this one when you bite it, and when the juices flies out, it won’t have a weird taste. There’s this middle sized one, if bitten, juice flies out, and will have weird taste, so I guess it goes the same for the big balls one (Si Hui came up with the term, I’m holy).

Randomly took this picture. Hmm, Oi Shan, you can actually use this as your facebook profile picture haha~ It seems just nice for profile display picture haha.

This one is taken by Si Hui, I wanted to take a picture of her wasting food, see the sushi in front her. She didn’t finish it. What a big sinner. Hm, she was moving around when taking the picture so it became this way. Tsk.

Yay~~ Finally a solo picture of myself woo hoo~ Si Hui snapped this for me, so nice got bamboos at the back somemore, totally can use this as wallpaper HAHA! Kidding.

I think taking picture from Si Hui’s view seems nicer. Even a devil from hell can look like an angel with the lights surrounding her head. Hm, but the smile on her face still looks devilish though, seems to me like a devil trying to act angelic HAHA! Okay, I’m an ass. But I still wanna say, she looks like she’s plotting something HAHA!

Dunno what this random picture was taken from. Anyways, Oi Shan, do you feel honoured, most of the pictures featured you you know HAHA! Hm, this picture looks so super high resolution ahaha.

Anyways, claimed my birthday present from our beloved Si Hui after like 3 months from my birthday, just nice 6th November, 3 months.

A MR BUMP CUSHION!!! Been eyeing it for a long time everytime I walked past Young Generation store in AMK Hub, just nice I can’t find anything else to buy anyways ahaha, so I bought this to put in my room / living room. Thanks Si Hui~~

Yeah, that’s all haha, been a fun day out with them xD.

Last Saturday

Extremely tired these few days, the few days include the time from last week till now. Especially last wednesday onwards, I also don’t really understand how come I’m so tired, so I file it under my pms. But until now, nothing happened so I don’t really understand why, but that’s the only reason though. Eh, anyways, luckily wasn’t working on last saturday, I think I will really become a panda. Had the time to sleep until I naturally wake up hoho. I slept until 12 30pm, and that was because the optical shop called me to go collect my spectacles.

Yip, people! Listen up *clap clap*. My spectacles are spoilt, the mouldy blue color one that I have wore since secondary 4 I think. Changed to one which is half plastic and half metallic. I like it a lot personally but doesn’t seems like my friends all like it though, especially a few are not used to seeing me with this color. Oh, it’s pinkish-purple.

My optical shop is in Toa Payoh. I really think I’m pro. Cuz I woke up, then I went to Yishun first to thread my eyebrow, it’s been growing like bushes and it’s really messy. I went there by bus 853 which I can just take downstairs. Straight bus all the way to Yishun. And then I took MRT train from Yishun down to Toa Payoh, took my glasses. From there I took bus 159 back to my house. 159 drops directly at the same side of my flat. I don’t even need to cross the road. I seriously think I’m smart HAHA! Anyways, the purpose of this post is to boast to you guys on how pro I think I am to think of a flawless plan to go threading and take my glasses. HAHAH!

So when I reached school yesterday morning, wearing my new glasses. I expected people to take notice of my glasses. But.. But.. But… MY FRIENDS ACTUALLY NOTICED MY EYEBROWS??? It’s really )*&)$@. Eh… The eyebrow only took up like 1/10 of my face. No wait, I think 1/20 of my face, the glasses, took up like 3/10 of my face and yet people didn’t realise it!!! *cries and run away*

*Walk back slowly* I can’t believe that they didn’t notice my beloved glasses!!! And it’s a flashy color too boo hoo~ Luckily Weni took notice of it though. Hiks. Oh yeah, I went to beloved Kai Lan’s house after my trip to Toa Payoh on saturday, she also saw my glasses haha. But she and Weni said the same thing, they were surprised to find that I will choose this kind of spectacles. I wonder why? It sounds more reasonable that I wear black colored thick lens spectacles? HAHA!

Ayz, anyways, went around asking people if I look studious or not in my new specs. Personally I think it looked studious. But I guess nobody agrees with me sobs. My brother said studious people don’t buy red color frames. Sobs. Weni said I look like artist. Zz. Yan Ting said I looked nerdy. YES! Finally somebody said something better. I know you guys are going to say that nerdy doesn’t equates to studious. I know I know. I just want to look like I’m very associated with studying HAHAHA! So maybe it gives more freedom to slack? Hehe.

Okay, as I’m speaking this. I wanted to mention that I realised my table is like SUPER MESSY. It’s flooded with items. Okay, I should take a picture of the things and show you guys.

Yeah, my workdesk is DUPER crammed. No matter where I go, I leaves a trail of things around me I realised. I used to use my com outside in the living room. During that time, there are ALOT of things on the living room table. And now when I moved in here. The things also followed me haiz.

And when I see my things, I remembered that I had bought this 2 boxes from Mini Toons during the 30% sales. And to my horror, I realised that I forgot my things in school. The best thing is that I will be going out everyday except for today only, and I have to lug that thing behind me wherever I go sobs. Hiks.

超级白！！！！！！！！