天使是存在的

腐烂在地狱里的时间太长，我几乎也以为身边的人的心态应该也会像我的一般，不奇怪会有个腐烂的表现，可一点也不期待有天使的存在。 人来本来生来这世界上就是来作孽的，为什么要装的字迹很高尚？其实心里要的，贪的，还不是那些世俗的东西。不知是否看了太多的戏剧，或是看了太多现实的剧情，分不清出哪个是现实的，哪个是幻想的。应该也没有什么大的分别，无论是假的，是真的，应为根本是人类想出来的。只有人类的脑袋才能想出这种恐怖的东西，它能想出各种捏待自己同类的方法，最恐怖的是他们还能从中找到乐趣。真恶心。

作人从来就不是在于做事，所谓”三分做事，七分做人”，何苦辛辛苦苦做事？就算做了很多很多，如果没有事先打点好周围，惹来一堆苍蝇，只会功亏一篑。尤其是生在华裔的国家，就算苦苦的一一把事情做好，同事不见得会开心，上司不见得会赞扬，你的表现不见得会被欣赏。只有在做坏事的时候，只要做错一件事，根本不需要用播放机放出去，旁边多的是一堆好事的“记者”。 不出一天，应该不少人会认识你。东方人也挺好笑的，总是在争，争啊争的，其他国籍的人根本只需要一手拿着酒杯，一手拿着香烟，坐在椅子上，翘起二郎腿看戏，看华人互相踩着对方往上爬就行了。真可笑。

我必须承认，我根本就是个有坏心眼的人，当我认为我做得比别人多的时候，后来拿的成绩，烧给神看应该都想吐吧， 心理有很大的不平衡，几度很想直接问，给分数的标准是什么？可那又如何？分数不会应为我的找碴而有所改变，高分数的不会变低，低分数的不会变高，他们对雌性的观念不会改变，对雄性的生物的想法依旧。那就对了。于其浪费时间想说世界是有多么的不公平，于其浪费我的脑汁生气，倒还不如深吸一口气，闭上眼睛，再拿一本书来读好了。虽然无济于事， 但发神经一点帮助也没有。真可悲。

虽然说人间是个活生生的地狱，身边只不过是不同程度的恶魔。越像个人类的，越像恶魔吧？不过，也会有掉落到地狱的天使。假装成天使的恶魔倒很容易分辨，每日的相处一定能漏出破绽。能宽容的把全部自己所知道的事拿来教人。借到的资料，自己还未了，也能借人。人人都负他，可若人人他日回来找他，他还是能用宽容的心态对待他人。甚少在别人后面放箭。给人的感觉是真实的。这类的，是不小心掉落到人间的天使吧。恶魔伪装的倒很容易分辨，虽说他们也有可能不放冷箭，把自己毁的教人，但这类的感觉就是假的。而且，我真的认识甚少人是会把自己全部所知的都教人。不然轻功是怎么失传的？那只是个比喻。

虽说到达不了天使的程度，但至少学到的是懂得适可而止，与其总是在嫌这个那个，总是在发牢骚，倒不如想想有什么对策，光说不做永远不会让事情发生。人从来都不专心听人再说什么，问的一个问题，只是想要别人问回他，或是为自己铺路，想要说出自己的遭遇，每个人都只顾着说自己的，那有什么用？尤其如果一件事情说三次以上，我想连神应该也不会像帮忙吧。发牢骚只会让一个人更加的往悲观的想法想，但问题总会在那。

不过我想，天使毕竟是天使，是不能和处在地狱里的我能有在深厚的感情吧。我不能和无私的天使一起再接纳已经决定把他列入黑名单的人。我并不是天使，也不知道天使想的是什么，我想我只知道天使跟我的想法一定不会是一样的，它们会“原谅”，而我只会永永远远的“记得”。

Not that I love Singapore SO much, but…

Just happened to watch Singapore Idol last saturday, was so surprised that the whole episode is not singing English songs, I thought I have accidentally switched to Suria channel. Er.. As compared to the previous years of Singapore Idol, is the show like degrading or something, I thought the singers were okay, not that I’m such a good singer, but just that I thought there will be better singers? To my surprise, most of them are Malays, so when I was watching the show, most of them were singing Malay songs, and needless to say, most of the audiences are Malays.

Not that I’m a rascist, I has nothing against having so many malay singers on stage, but the only thing that really shocked me was the jeering filmed in it. The host was calling out names, so that the contestants can go out and stand in the central stage, to decide whether or not they will be kicked out of the contest. When a contestant got called out, there are people who are cheering, and jeering of course, and when the contestant was lucky to not be kicked out, there are jeering and cheering too. The best part was the camera person took a very nice view, it totally recorded down the part that some of the audiences really stood up and held out their hands with their thumb down to jeered at them.

I need to emphasis on this, I’m not really a rascist, especially when I have a few Malay colleagues, but I can really say that those who are doing the jeering are Malays. Those gangs who supported their own friends and came along to give them support, not saying that jeering at their friend’s competitors are against the laws, but it just shows how this people doesn’t have any sportsmanship values in them. Not that I am a HUGE fan of Singapore Idol, I couldn’t care less whether the singers’ caliber are getting better or lousier each year (I can only say it’s going for the worse, but none of my business anyways), just that this kind of show WILL definitely be hosted up on Youtube. You and me know what are the traffic size that goes up to Youtube everyday, even if you just post one video of you digging nose shit, if one person on Earth finds it funny, he/she send to their friends and they all think that you digging nose shit is funny, you will be famous within a week.

Needless to say, Singapore Idol which is just another version of America Idol and obviously one kind of show people from other parts of the world will watch, they might just saw how the people in Singapore is like. If I’m not a Singaporean, and I see this kind of video, of audiences jeering at contestants and being the biatch I am, I think I will forward it for people to watch and within a short time, people will just know how Singaporeans are like.

Well, of course you guys might think that I’m exaggerating, but well again, humans just like to dig up small sands and pile them up into a mountain, if one person think that it’s a mountain, given enough time, people will all come together and think that that’s a mountain.

Another incident would be the Liverpool vs Singapore Lions in one soccer match, I think it happened not long ago? Well, like I’ve said, I’m not one Singapore lover, so I don’t keep myself updated on this kind of Singapore news, especially when I’m not a soccer fan. Happened that one colleague told me that she got the ticket and watched the match personally, as what people have expected, When Liverpool came out, everybody shouted and screamed like they just saw a tsunami coming towards them, but when Singapore Lions came out, it’s like when everybody expected a tsunami and in the end it’s only one normal tide wave, which just means, not much sounds. Hm, it sounds funny, I think most probably the audiences there also think that is funny, but have they stopped to think that they themselves are Singaporeans? We, Singaporeans, standing on our own land rooting for people who come overseas, cheering and screaming like there’s no tomorrow for them, boosting their confidence and in the end lowering the morale of own people.

It’s kinda strange, I wonder why is it that Singaporeans don’t have a sense of loyalty to their own country at all. Ayz, I’m speaking like as if I’m not a Singaporean. I just wanna express how I felt about these matters, I guess sooner or later, people from all the world will just know what kind of people Singaporeans are.

Being the Biatch I already am

Hm, I think I have blogged about this before? Oh yeah, guess I did. Ah, just wanna to recap it again then haha. I guess most of you guys who go random blogs or maybe friend’s friends blogs or whatever, there will be this kinda blog who belongs to this teenage girls aged between perhaps 13 – 16, and they would blog about their daily rants, like how they have just gone through a day of bimbotic life. Like “i juz wnt out with Bengz tdy to shop 4 clothes, i found this duper cutesy dress, hot pink!! in color, it got this BIG, i mean BIG ribbon in front, i SO SO SO SO wanna buy but i have got no $$ for tis mth alr, so i tink it’s better to skip it” etc. And the second day she went out with Bengz number 2, and recount her bimbo life again. I’m just stating an exaggerating example by the way. Then at the side of their blog will be this small corner, normally the headings are *bling bling* and they will write about themselves.

aBouT Me: Lala Bimbo
I LovE! : Being a bimbo, living bimbotic life
I HaTE!!! : Backstabbers, people who lie through their teeth..

My main point is not the first 2 lines, more on the last line. I really came across people who say they hate backstabbers, maybe not really THAT bimbotic, but around there. Thing is, why will they write bimbotic and brainless stuffs writing they hate backstabbers? In the first place, I really doubt there is a person who are not backstabber, unless they’re people who are ultra smart, and they don’t care about public relationships in the first place. I’m not taking into account as to those who cannot speak either. When they write this kind of thing, I think that they are a backstabber themselves. Why? Because I believe that nobody can live by not bitching about others. Humans are just selfish creatures, and by bitching about others, it will actually make you feel good inside, regardless of the reason why you are feeling good.

At least, I’m honest in the sense that I really do bitch about others, well, if they provoke me to a certain extent, I won’t even mind telling them in their face. Maybe some really think that they don’t bitch about others, but most of the time, they won’t even know they are doing so.

For the second part, “people who lie through their teeth”, well, if they like people who lie only when they are in a toothless situation, I have nothing to comment on then. Ah, but as compared to the first part about backstabbers, I certainly don’t believe that there will be this person who NEVER lied in his/her life. That’s impossible. Why? People are born to sin as they come to this world. That’s why Jesus is great and we are pathetic. Get on with it.

Why am I suddenly blogging about this random stuff? You can take it as I’m just being random. Since I’m a random person anyways haha. Actually I just came to realised a few days ago, when my friend told me about this. She was saying that I don’t really like people who look angelic on the surface. Meaning? That when they speak, they will smile and look at you in a rather kind face, and when they give comments, they will phrase it out in a better way, but in other words, it’s just rejecting but in a nicer way. Not saying that that’s bad, since in order to succeed in your career, it is essential for a person to behave this way. But I guess being in hell for too long just don’t allow me to look at this “angelic creatures” without straining my eyes. I’m used to more darkness in people than the “holy light” people give out.

Just randomly thought of a few people I know and felt like writing this post. If you look around you closely enough, there will be this kind of people around you, they most probably will listen to you attentively, smiling and nodding to what you say. But you never know what thoughts are going through their minds when listening to what you are saying. I would rather they just behave like normal creatures. It’s too “holy” for me to accept.

Spoilt Brat

Ho hum, who in their minds, think that I’m a spoilt brat? Hm, I think most of you guys will give me a bird face and all just nod in unison. For those who don’t think I am, that’s good. Please continue and be firm in your stand HAHA! Anyways, I happen to know this guy in my group, who is even more spoilt than me, so if you think that I’m spoilt to the max already, you can take a look at this guy, seriously, you will be glad that I am like this way hehe.

Okay, I’m born with attitude face, you can’t blame me. Sometimes I’m just looking at you without expressions on my face and most of you guys think I’m showing you the attitude face already, that’s why, I say that I’m born with attitude face. But if you look closely enough, you will find my face friendly. *Beams* Hoho. Well, I can’t really blame you, since when people say lame stuffs, I still give them the same face, so I guess there’s no difference between giving bird face, or showing no expressions. Well, but if people don’t know me well enough, they couldn’t tell I’m giving them attitude! (People: Is that something to be happy about?) I don’t know. Just trying to be random.

Ah, back to the point. This guy that I’m talking about. Not just his face gives you the feeling that he shows attitude, the way he speak is like “WOW!”. That’s the first thought. Second thought is, “How can anybody be so spoilt!?”. After this, those who are close enough to me will generate this third thought “How can he be more spoilt and attitude than Eugenia?” It’s becoming a common problem to my peers that I’m being used as a scale for “attitude-ness”. So if a person is lless attitude than me, they will think “At least not as bad as Eugenia”. And if that person is more attitude than me, which is this guy in my group is, they will think “There is actually someone who is more attitude than Eugenia!”. Sadly enough, I’m being used as the scale. I don’t wanna admit this. But I found that most of them think like this. Ayz.

I’m so stressing that this guy is a spoilt brat, but I haven’t say how spoilt he is eh? You know what, it’s kinda… Hard to describe how attitude he is, because, WHATEVER, yes, you didn’t read wrong, and I didn’t typed wrong, he is attitude in WHATEVER ways there are. Ask him a simple question like “How come this ……..?” It might be something that you’ve solved close to 1 hour, but you just can’t find the way. The tone he used in replying is kind of like implied “This kind of simple question you also need to use. Are you retarded or not?” Yes, I found the source. It’s the tone.

First time asked him something. Got scolded by him also. Sadded. Sobz. Yeah, admit that it’s a stupid problem, but got scolded by him as a “idiot”, “Head so big but didn’t even use 1% of your brain”. Whoa, shocking eh? Damn shocking haha. Especially when he’s teaching you. Somehow you think you will know the answer, but I don’t know is it the aura he’s giving out is so strong, I don’t even know how to reply man. Not that I’m being taught by him, but I saw him teach my other team mate.

Imagine you don’t know what you are doing, he’s at your side staring at both you and the com. When you do something like putting this to false, he will ask you “Why you put this as false? You sure or not?” Wa, even if I’m sure at that moment, I will become unsure of my decision. Most likely you think he ask you this is because what you did is wrong, so you will change to true, which is kind of like a reflex action. Just when you think he won’t ask you anymore, you will hear the attitude voice again, “Why you suddenly change this as true? Just now you put false, how come suddenly put true? You know why need to put true or not?”. Wa, I think if I’m being taught by him, I will have nightmare of him teaching me man.

But the thing is, he really reminded me of my brother man. Just that my brother not as attitude as him, my brother is attitude, but then maybe he’s my brother so not nervous or scared. Normally ask my brother one question “Why this cannot work?” He will give me this shit face of his and reply “Tell me why this can work.” WA! It’s like digging a hole, and asking him to push me down and die.

Eh, maybe you guys might think that he’s really an asshole, since I’m writing all the ass things he’ve done haha. But actually he’s okay. Surprising thing is, he’s much more patient than me I think HAHA! At least for me, if I keep saying the same things over and over, I might just type a F word and ask that person to read HAHA!

So what am I trying to say? Complaining all the shitty stuffs about this guy and then in the end saying that he’s not that bad actually? I’m just trying to say that there’s someone who’s more spoilt than me. Hehe.

Oh, but that sentence scolded by him really gave me a shock man. Not like he’s really pointing at my nose and saying that, he’s just using a calm and attitude voice to say that. But it’s still a blow to me jeez. Ayz, if only PC is in the same FYP room with me. I think I can sit back, relax and watch show.

Spam Mails (Unsuitable for the Young)

Perhaps I’ve been too many you-know-what websites, I don’t remember signing up for any corn you-know-what websites, it might be some other amateur you-know-what websites or whatever, but I have been constantly receiving stupid spam mails that mostly lands up in my “Junk Mails” asking me to enlarge my penis. I swear that it’s not I don’t wanna give them my support. I, too, wanna help to improve the economy, sadly enough, I don’t have one to enlarge to begin with.

It’s not just one random mail, everyday I will receive at least 1 spam mail, okay, maybe not all might be this kind of spam mails, but since most likely everyday will have 3-4 spam mails, so there will normally be 1-2 spam mails asking me to enlarge the whatsoever thing that I don’t have. The remaining ones will be titles which contain squares, never-seen-before chinese words, jap words, arabian words, which of course I won’t even click on it to see the contents inside.

I need to emphasis on the point that, I don’t click on the enlarging thingy mail also, so I’m kinda interested in seeing what is it inside, but I somehow think I know what’s inside, so on second thought, maybe not. So I guess receiving this spam mails means that those who visits those you-know-what websites, are normally males, but then again, it’s not like only males visits this site right…?

And anyways, not like I really surfed the real things. So why are they sending me this kind of mail?! Jeez, and sending ME this kind of thingy somemore. Ayz.

Talking about this pervetic things, I don’t really understand why guys are into this kind of things. I know what you are thinking (People: You also indulge yourself in “this kind” of things =.=). But what I mean is, yeah, is okay if you got watch and all since we all know that guys think by their lower parts rather than their upperparts, but you don’t really have to show it off by shouting and showing that you do watch all those thingies right?

Why am I saying this? Because apparently there are a few crazy guys in my Final Year Project room who looked at those perverted mangas, and pictures online, using school com. Yes, you didn’t read wrongly, and I didn’t type wrongly, I haven’t drank any alcohol and my mind is clear, they really are using the school com to view all this. But how do they get past all the blocking things? Beats me.

I realised that bringing my laptop to school might not be a good idea afterall, in the first place, cuz normally onli me would use my com at home, so it’s like I never thought of deleting my cookies, browsing history and caches. Happen that this one fine day somewhere last week, this random person used my com to load some random thingy, and the worst thing happened, I think he typed something like “He….” on the address bar, and a shocking thing happened, yeah, I think you guys know what happened, the bar came down and suggested the few sites that I’ve went before. Being thhe perverted guy he is (He’s the one who access the perverted sites), it’s the worst idea to let him know that I do access this kind of sites, I prefer it to remain something less known to people.

Luckily, to my relief, or perhaps my parents did prayed for me the previous month for Lunar month, or God really took pity on me, or I’m being a nice angel all along, nobody noticed, including him. And he continued to typed down the address. Phew!! My heart really skipped a beat at that time. That’s why I shouldn’t bring my laptop to school more often now, and if I do, maybe it’s a better idea to use Internet Explorer instead.

Ayz. for the previous poll, I SERIOUSLY think that some people cheated. And I suspect that Oi Shan cheated also. Ayz. Forever trying to act innocent when she’s not.

WOO HOO!

IM PRO!